Online dating: Should you, shouldn’t you?

OnlineDating1It’s been a long while since I posted anything on here. For that I apologise. A full time job took over my life just a tad. Today I finally thought I’d get back into it:

So recently, I’ve found that trying to find someone who is actually worth talking to in clubs is not only impossible but if you think you can do it, you’re also incredibly naïve.

I’m 20, I’m not looking for marriage, kids and a white fence. However, people who want, or can, carry out a decent two-sided conversation are, apparently, in short supply.

Instead, I decided to turn to online dating. I won’t lie, I was embarrassed to admit it at first. I thought people would bee me as desperate, pathetic or would think that I just couldn’t find someone on my own.

Well, stuff that. We are in the 21st century. Technology has taken over every other aspect of our lives, why not let it take over our love lives as well?! And for me, it’s been rather successful!

I did find a wonderful guy and we dated for six months. Unfortunately, it didn’t work out but it was a good relationship while it lasted.

Online dating actually helped me get over the break up. No, I didn’t go out and sleep with everyone on there. I talked to people, went on a few dates, and generally had a good time.

Sure, some people online are idiots, just like in the clubs their vocabulary seriously lacks and don’t even get me started with punctuation. But sometimes, you might actually find someone who makes you laugh and you have a real connection with.

Nowadays, who the hell cares where you find that special someone? You can meet in a club, on the sidewalk, after having a shameful one night stand with them or you can meet them online. If anyone has a problem with that then it’s their problem not yours.

If you are happy, then other people’s opinions really don’t matter.

Love and Procrastination

As I aimlessly procrastinated on a boring Wednesday night my housemate stumbled across a website that listed the ‘25 Heartwarming Facts That Will Make You Want To Fall In Love’.

Number 14 was ‘on average, people fall in love seven times before getting married.’

Now, I’m not sure if I like this statement or not. This means that I am either going to have to dump or get dumped by, potentially, six people.

A little fact about me, I hate being the one to say its over. I never know what to say or how to say it so instead I just get very distant and hope he will take the hint. Not the best way I know.

But being dumped is just as bad. However, after a couple of tubs of ice cream and heartwarming words from my friends I always feel better.

So is this a good thing or a bad thing? Well on the plus side, it gives us single folk some hope of finding someone.

And I suppose if this is right then once we find ‘The One’ we know what we like in a guy/ girl and know that that one person is what we are looking for.

However, as a 19 year old, I now have all that heartbreak to ‘look forward’ to.Image

But, is this true? One of my best friends is still with their boyfriend of five years and she is only 21.

And frankly, it takes quite a bit for me to go the whole ‘falling in love’ thing. Yes, I can have really deep feelings and yes, I can really care for someone but love is a very strong word and is to be used carefully and when you are really ready to use it.

Maybe it depends on when you find that special someone. I’d like to think it’s different for everyone. I don’t want to know who and when I will settle down, that takes the fun out of living and dating and so on.

On the other hand number 5 is ‘It takes less than four minutes to decide whether you have feelings for someone’.

This might actually be true. I can safely say that I make my decision if I like someone or not within the first couple of minutes of meeting them. So I’d think that most other women are the same.

Perhaps it takes a while to find out if you ‘like’ like someone but sometimes – and I am talking from personal experience – you just know that you like someone.

The way I look at it, if you like someone then just go for it, the worst that can happen is you’ll need a tub of ice cream and your best friends and you’ll be right as rain.

Girls and the Obsession of Tanning

Over the past couple of weeks we have all been enjoying the ability to go outside without wearing a rain coat and boots. Yes, for once, Britain’s population can finally go out in flip flops and shorts. We can dust the cobwebs from our bikinis and swimming shorts and put our beautiful beaches to good use.

But where there is sun, there are crazy people who think that just because we live in England, Wales or Scotland that we don’t have to worry about sun cream. This of course was shown in the increase of patients in the ER for sun stroke and burns.

Don’t get me wrong, I put myself into this category. I didn’t put any sun cream on and – even though I have never burnt before – I managed to slightly burn my nose. I looked like Rudolf for a week.

You’d think that I had learnt my lesson, but as I write this, I am sitting outside with baby oil on. I am literally cooking myself in the hope of keeping my tan till past December.Image

What is it with girls and trying to get the best tan possible? We have that need to be a little bit darker than our original colouring. A lot of us even go a horrendous lobster colour all in the name of beauty.

Is this attractive to men? According to recent studies, two thirds of men don’t register whether you are tanned or pale, and if they can see the tan lines then they are probably way too interested in the palest parts of your body.

However, the lobster look is something that guys avoid, and let’s face it, it bloody stings. You can’t sleep for the pain; you can’t shower unless it’s cold and even when applying moisturiser it hurts like hell.

The moral of the story is, wear sun cream. It can be factor 10 or factor 50, as long as you’re protected somehow. You’ll end up with a beautiful, even tan and you’ll look amazing in that new dress you bought.

I’m not stupid, I know that everyone will still risk going out with oil on or no sun cream at all, I know I will be. So, to everyone who is as stupid as me, I will see you on the other side of Lobster Ville.

And to those who tan easily and look amazing without trying, all us lobster folk can say is, we hate you.

What I really don’t understand – and something I never will understand – is why girls go and get a fake spray on tan before going out to Spain, Greece or somewhere equally as hot.

All this does is block the sun from reaching your actual skin so you go home paler than before and you also go home with strange blotches where the tan has rubbed off from water.

This is not attractive, ladies. When you go out to foreign country, the plan is to get the best tan, not to come home all patchy.

So please, to those who do it, don’t. You look a lot better without it.

Where does our pay-check go?

My priorities, now that I’ve finished my first year of university, is to save up for a spontaneous holiday some time in the summer. OK, perhaps not a spontaneous holiday as I already know where I’m going but still, saving is my number one priority right now.

And thankfully I just landed myself a job at a local bar and restaurant which pays pretty well. However, with my first pay check I blew it all on clothes and booze. And I mean all of it. £150 out the window within two days. I can justify everything I bought. Maybe.

The point is, why is it so damn hard to save just £500. I’m working full time for three weeks and I should be able to get to my goal, right? Wrong. Life is getting in the way. I didn’t account for the fact that eating is something I actually need to do. (Granted I could eat a little less, but no one wants to do that!)

And then there are those things that you need – or kind of need – but really don’t want to spend the money on. Like a new pair of plain black Vans. Now that mine have officially got too many holes to be classed as shoes; they are more like sandals at this point. But that means spending £40 on one pair of shoes.

I know what Mum would say: “Why are you buying the most expensive shoes there are? Why not just go to Primark and buy a pair that cost £5.” Because Mother, I like Vans. Your daughter has expensive taste, which she is blaming on you, just to put that out there.

But she’s right of course; I need the shoes but not the brand. Still, any other shoe just will not do now that I have a nice collection forming. And they are pretty, that’s all a girl needs to know.

MEN STOP READING NOW, UNLESS YOU ARE COMFORTABLE TALKING ABOUT GIRLS UNDERWEAR…

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Bloody bras. The bane of very girls existence. Once every six months or so every girl has to buy at least one bra. The main reason for this is that they can no longer justify wearing that tatty white one under the almost-see-through top that they always wear.

For some of you, this is an easy and quick trip to Primark to buy a £6 bra. Simple. However if you are more like me and are, lets say unable, to fit into the smaller sizes that they supply in Primark, then you will have to go to M&S, Debenhams or even La Senza. The problem with this is that they cost £20+ for the good, pretty ones – and no one wants boring, there is nothing wrong with wanting a bit of frill. And as you are leaving you see the matching French knickers, which would look so nice if you were feeling a little fancy one day. So you buy them too.

All in all you end up buying so much more than you planned. That, ladies, is where your money goes. The unnecessary little things that we all dread to need. So if we could only stop buying those things then your dream holiday will become a reality!

The Dreaded Rebound…

No one wants to be that dreaded rebound, whether you’re a girl or a guy it, it’s still something you should avoid at all costs. Why? Because you end up getting hurt. So unless you are ready to feel like crap just don’t.

But how long do you wait until you know that they are over their past relationship? I don’t think anyone actually knows. Have you been in that situation where you think you are over that person but it creeps up on you? I know I have.

However, what if you actually like this person? Do you chance getting your heart broken? It could work out, right? It works for people in the films, why can’t it work for you and me?0646aa74af9a08f5861a8b99449f1640

Then if you did get with that someone, can you imagine how the ex must feel? That the person they loved for however long has just moved on that quick? That’s not fair either, I know for a fact that I would hate it. Who knew that exes had feelings too? They do. You might have heard bad things or you think that because they’ve never met you they wont find out or care or whatever. They will find out, they will care, it won’t be a ‘whatever’ moment.

So what do you do? You wait. It’s a simple solution. If he/she still likes you later then great, but you will now have the peace of mind that they are over their ex and can put 100% into their relationship with you.

Those small gestures…

So, when I was having a bad day, my Dad brought me home a small bouquet of flowers in hope that I would feel better. And it did. The fact that he went out of his way to get this bunch of roses actually did lift my spirits.

This got me to thinking: what happened to giving a girl a bunch of flowers on a random occasion just to say you love her? I know mine were from my Dad – it’s the best I’ve had, ever – but truth be said, I really did feel better.

I watch the movies where John Cusack holds a boom box over his head to show his devotion but, seriously, us girls don’t need that big gesture all the time. In fact, we do prefer to have small gestures now and again. A bouquet of flowers, a small teddy, or a box of chocolates wouldn’t come amiss.c4BU1298898264

I put the word flowers into Google and you know what I got? ‘Flower meanings’. Since when does it matter what the flower means?! It usually means ‘I was thinking about you and wanted to do something nice’. We all know that the red rose is a symbol for love but, apparently, a pink rose means friendship; a white rose is purity; a mix of red and white roses mean unity and yellow, yellow means zealous! What? Honestly I really don’t think all this matters, all that matters is that they got you a beautiful bunch of flowers because they care.

And girls, don’t be afraid to give guys flowers. I recently found out that they would appreciate it as much as we do. Unless my source was lying – who knows? But the main point is, you wont know until you try it. It really isn’t complicated, you present the flowers with an ‘I love you’ or ‘I hope you’re ok’.

So just a little insight guys. It doesn’t matter what flowers you get. And no it doesn’t matter what chocolates either, as long as you don’t get the diet version, that won’t go down well. We will love them all the same. And yes, it will make us feel better. No, the bigger the better doesn’t count in this situation. Actually a small bouquet is better because we don’t all have massive vases to hold ten dozen roses in. About 10-15 flowers will do nicely!

 

Men in Reality Vs Men in Movies

I’ve watched a lot of movies in my day. And in every girly movie there is a guy. Not just any guy; a cute, built, smart and sexy guy who is also nice and thoughtful. There are guys like that in reality, I’m not saying that there aren’t, the only difference is that they are not as common in real life like they are in movies.

I’ve come across many stunning men, and some of them have been interested – don’t be too surprised people! The only problem is, if they are stunning then chances are, they’re an ass.

People have said that the really nice guys are right under our noses and this is probably true but us girls – and I include myself in this statement – tend to do the inevitable ‘friendzoneing’. We chase after the handsome jackasses and run away from the guys who might actually treat us right.

I’m going to blame this on the movies – mainly because I don’t want to blame my naïve self. In those girly chick flicks that we all watch, the geek gets the hottest guy in school. So we all wish we could be them. Sometimes we do get to be them and good things do happen, and it may be movie like and amazing but in reality those ripped, chizzled men are the ones we should stay away from. Those relationships usually end up with you sitting in bed watching the Notebook with a big pot of Ben and Jerry’s Cookie Dough ice cream.notebook21420139

But that’s why we love them; we love to dream that we are Rachel McAdams or Kate Hudson. If we didn’t have these soppy girly movies then what would we fantasise while getting ready for your first day of secondary school, your first date or your first school dance?

The truth is we love to pretend we’re Anne Hathaway with the dream job and perfect boyfriend. That’s how us ordinary girls get through secondary school! And what’s the harm of fantasising about having Channing Tatum to come home to? Absolutely nothing!

It might take a while but we will all find that Mr Right. And he might not have been the popular guy in school, but he’s the one that you want to spend the rest of your life with, he’s the one that you can talk to about anything. He will not only be your boyfriend/ husband but also your best friend. And ladies, that’s all we can ever ask for!